A great game from LJN? Madness!

I kinda fell off with tracking the different publishers on the system, but that was something I had a lot of fun with in the early days of this project. Ripping on Mindscape and Acclaim and Accolade, and all the other purveyors of crap is one of those things gamers can never get enough of. Hell, the AVGN basically built his entire empire on it.

At one point I was even tracking the exact “ranking” each of those publishers was laying claim to here. I retroactively got rid of all that later on, for various reasons, but it’s something I’ve thought about revisiting. Maybe something along the lines of “bonus” pages that I could add to this site whenever I finally have a free moment. Average ranking by franchise, average ranking by publisher, average ranking by genre, etc. I’d love to do it, it just takes more commitment.

Anyway, I did try to call out that even the worst publishers tended to accidentally make good games on occasion. Or sometimes several occasions. And LJN absolutely comes to mind first. They’re infamous for a lot of the terrible games and movie adaptations that came out for the NES and SNES, and it’s for good reason. Most of those games truly are bad. And yes, they do tend to get piled on because of the infamy that the AVGN gave them. It’s mostly deserved.

But they did have good stuff. And this is the #1 title that bucks their trend. Another movie adaptation, this time from a James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger joint that followed up T2 (and preceded Titanic).

Reception to the movie was fairly mixed, but as a kid I loved it. It was exciting, funny, full of great setpieces, and it had Bill Paxton in full camp mode. Always a good thing.

When I saw screenshots of the game in magazines, I was instantly smitten. I have a huge soft spot for 3D overhead games, and even though I usually ignored games based on movies, I immediately put it at the top of my list.

…to no avail. I never rented it, or even saw it in a rental store. I never got to play it, so I didn’t experience it. At least, not until decades later.

Once again, this was a game that was at the top of my list when I got serious about my SNES collecting. Up until 2008 or so, I was a pretty passive collector, buying whatever I came across if it was dirt cheap. Once I started actively seeking the cartridges out, I bought this one the instant I finally ran across it in the wild.

And I played through it that night. In one sitting. This was before I had kids, so it was the sort of luxury I could enjoy.

And let me tell you, it was a hell of a frustrating experience. This game is not easy, and it’s not forgiving, and there are several mechanics to it that have not aged particularly well. And some of the bosses made me want to smash my controller. It’s possible I threw it at one point; I don’t recall for sure.

But dammit if LJN didn’t pull it off. A very good, if not great, overheard action shooter. Kinda similar to stuff like Soldiers of Fortune, or Operation Logic Bomb. But even better.

Now don’t get me wrong, this is absolutely not a game for everyone, and it has very real (and very pronounced) problems. The absurd difficulty is just the tip of the iceberg. But I still recommend it wholesale if you’re looking for this type of shooter. The good outweighs the bad, and, most importantly, the game is plain fun to play. LJN done good.

Did I beat it?
I did, twice. And this is not an easy game, at all.

A couple years ago, I spent a couple weeks mastering the original Battletoads for the Nintendo Entertainment System. And while the entire experience could be described as punishing, or grueling, I actually had a ball. I love that game, and I loved getting better at it. It was constantly rewarding, and really made me feel like I had accomplished something by the end.

The instant I was done with it, I had the brilliant idea to follow it up with a playthrough of its lesser-known sequel, Battletoads in Battlemaniacs. After all, my skills were still sharp, why not put them to use?

So I did exactly that. I mastered Battlemaniacs immediately afterwards. Though it only took a week in comparison.

Unfortunately, playing them back-to-back like that also laid bare just how halfhearted and phoned-in the sequel felt. Rare literally took an 8-bit game, cut half of it out, and re-released it. While also making it feel sloppier and less tight. I don’t know what they were thinking. Maybe they were rushed.

Now, for those of you who have never played through the original game, one thing it is notable for is the extremely varied playstyles it has, with no two levels that really play exactly the same. Those levels are as follows:

Ragnarok’s Canyon - A quick battle against some overgrown pigs, ending in a battle against a large mech that occurs from the perspective of the boss (think the first battle against Shredder in Turtles in Time)

Wookie Hole - Fight off crows and carnivorous plants while rappelling down an endless chasm.

Turbo Tunnel - You know what this level is. Everyone does.

Arctic Caverns - A lengthy platforming level that is much longer than the first three stages, with dozens of hazards that need to be memorized.

Surf City - Similar to the Turbo Tunnel, but much more forgiving, and ending in another boss fight.

Karnath’s Lair - Ride on top of gigantic snakes that zigzag their way across vertical maps. Memorization, like always, is the name of the game.

Volkmire’s Inferno - Kind of like that fast-moving level in Gradius where you need to avoid all of the walls.

Intruder Excluder - Another exercise in platforming, this time working your way up an endless shaft, ending in a particularly annoying boss fight.

Terra Tubes - More platforming, except most of it is underwater, or running away from gigantic gears. This is probably the longest and hardest level in the game.

Rat Race - A race to the bottom of the level, with one of the cheapest glitches in gaming history.

Clinger Winger - A race against a killer buzzsaw, where precise D-Pad movements are required.

The Revolution - More platforming, this time with some tricky rotational effects, and ending with the hardest boss fight.

Now go ahead and remove levels 4, 6, 7, 8, 9 from that list, and replace them with a pointless bonus stage. And make Rat Race easier, while also buggier (if that is even possible). And make the Turbo Tunnel much harder. That’s Battlemaniacs in a nutshell. Pretty lazy, and lackluster in effort and execution.

Luckily, I’m not judging this game against the original Battletoads. I’m judging it against the rest of the SNES library. And just how good is a second rate Battletoads game when measured against its fellow Super Nintendo games? Still pretty dang good.

Did I beat it?
Yes I did. Not one of the easier completions in the SNES library, but I managed to make it happen.

I have a confession to make: I’ve never played any of the Bonk games. I mean, none of the non-SNES Bonk games. Not the original Bonk’s Adventure, not Air Zonk, none of them. And I only briefly played the Japan-only sequel, Super Bonk 2. Or whatever it’s called... Super Genjin 2? You know what I mean. Maybe.

Anyway, is that a hit to my gamer cred? I honestly have no idea. I feel like this is a series that’s mostly known only to the sort of hardcore gamers that are insane enough to collect for the TurboGrafx-16, or are pursuing full NES sets. Which is gonna represent a tiny portion of the people who are reading this. So I imagine most people are unfamiliar with these games. Or maybe not, who knows.

In any case, I haven’t played any of them, so I have no idea how Super Bonk stacks up against the rest of the franchise. Is it a poor Bonk game? A mediocre Bonk game? The best Bonk that ever bonked? No idea. Doesn’t matter. Because as a Super Nintendo game, it stacks up very well. Hudson Soft has done good once again.

The overall gameplay and mechanics are… well, they’re so strange that I don’t know how I’m going to explain any of this. See, Bonk is a caveman (baby?) with a giant head. And no hair. He uses this giant cue ball to bash (bonk) enemies. He can also turn flips in the air in order to bonk enemies above or below him. Depending on how you time it. That also slows his descent, so that you can get more air time. He can also turn into all sorts of bizarre shit. Ostrich Bonk. Tiny Bonk. Huge Bonk. Huge eyebrows Bonk. Water monstrosity Bonk. Drunk with steaming head appendage (?) Bonk… Each one more insane than the last, all with vaguely useful powers.

You can also scream the letters “RAGE” onto the screen and then, I guess, use them (the letters) as a travelling platform…

Oh, and then at some point you’re eaten by a giant dinosaur, and you travel through his intestines and other organs in order to pulverize his heart.

And later you’re this perpetually spinning space crab that is shooting a bunch of moons…

You follow what I’m getting at? It’s a super fucking weird game, and super Japanese, and most of this is gonna be lost on a lot of people.

But it’s great. The levels are fun to explore, the bosses are a thrill to fight, Bonk is a lovable little monster, and it’s a game I come back to again and again. I’ve beat it at least four times over the last decade, and I plan on doing it again real soon. It may not be the best Bonk game out there (or maybe it is), and it certainly is strange, but it’s one of the best games Hudson put out for the Super Nintendo, and I recommend everyone check it out. I always have a really great time with it.

Did I beat it?
Yep, this is one I go back to quite a bit.

Ever play Streets of Rage? Not Streets of Rage 2, but the OG first game? It’s one of those early seminal Genesis games that was huge in its day, but finds itself incredibly overshadowed by its sequel nowadays. Hell, no one seems to talk about it anymore.

The same can’t really be said for Final Fight 2. There was no dramatic step up with this sequel. No vastly improved graphics, or addition of an iconic soundtrack, or massive gameplay changes. Just… refinements. Slight refinements. And I’m not even sure that they’re for the better.

You see, Final Fight is a great game. One of the better brawlers on the Super Nintendo. Is it perfect? No. Can it touch Streets of Rage 2? Not really. Do I like it as much as Capcom’s own Knights of the Round or King of Dragons? No. But it still gets the job done. If there is any caveat(s) holding it back, it’s the rather punishing difficulty level, something that is only exacerbated by some overly long levels, and some maddeningly cheap boss battles.

Final Fight 2, on the other hand, goes hard in the other direction. It basically removes the frustration. All of it. This game is so much easier than the first game it’s ridiculous. Possibly the biggest slide in challenge from one game to another across the entire Super Nintendo library. I mean, I can’t beat the first game without resorting to trickery, regardless of how much I try, whereas this one is so easy I achieved a 1CC on the first try. That is no exaggeration.

And that’s the problem. Capcom overcorrected. I’ll even admit that part of the appeal of the first game is that gargantuan challenge. You want to overcome it. You want to get better. If you die, it was your fault, and that makes you want to hop back in and give it another go.

No such thing happens here. You blow through it, have a good time, and move on. It makes the whole experience less... noteworthy, maybe. Less satisfying for sure.

Still, it is great fun. And the graphics are still glorious, and controls are as tight as ever. The gameplay is also slightly sped up from the original. Is that better or worse? I guess it depends on your perspective. I felt it was different, but not in any way that noticeably affected my experience.

Finally, I have to mention that cooperative play is no longer missing. But that makes the game even easier. You’re basically sleepwalking at that point, and I can barely suggest you even bother with it.

So, like with all of the Capcom brawlers on the system, I heartily recommend Final Fight 2. It’s not perfect, or among their better efforts, and it’s not gonna give you more than a few hours worth of gameplay. But anytime you can slam fools into the ground with Mike Haggar is a time worth having.

Did I beat it?
Yep, this is one of the easier brawlers on the system.

Firepower 2000 aka Super SWIV (I can’t tell which name is dumber) is one of the few Western-developed shmups on the system. Or, maybe it’s the only one…

D-Force… Raiden Trad… Axelay…they’re all Japanese, aren’t they? This truly is the only one. Huh.

In any case, you’d almost never be able to tell, because all of the things I associate with most (not all) of the Western games on the SNES (bad controls, bad hit detection, terrible art design) are not present here. In fact, everything looks and feels great. Bravo, developers. Bravo.

The main gimmick here is that you can take control of either a helicopter or some sort of Jeep. The helicopter plays like any ship found in a traditional shmup: move around while always pointing/firing in the direction the screen is scrolling. The Jeep, however, plays more like the vehicles in Jackal for NES. As in, it drives in whatever direction you want, and they always fire forwards.

It’s a super cool idea, and makes cooperative play really interesting because one of you must play as the Jeep. It also introduces an extra level of strategy since some targets are on the ground and some are in the air, and only the corresponding vehicle has to worry about colliding with them.

Unfortunately, I find the Jeep significantly harder to actually find any success with. Maybe that’s due to my personal playstyle, or maybe I’m just too used to playing shmups in a traditional manner, but I have a feeling many players are gonna share my experience. And that’s too bad because it makes me want to always play as the chopper. It’s the only way I can succeed at this game. And that’s because…

This game is hard as shit.

Seriously. I don’t know if I made any bold claims about the system’s hardest entry in the genre, or if I said anything in my Super R-Type or Imperium reviews. And the upcoming R-Type III is extremely hard in its own right. But this game might take the cake. It is absolutely brutal from beginning to end. Or at least I assume it is, because I’ve never actually made it anywhere near the end.

And what is it that makes some shmups so hard? Demanding patterns like those made famous by the R-Types? Constant bullshit being flung at you a la Imperium? In this case, it’s neither, because Firepower 2000 is hard for more insidious reasons.

You know Gradius syndrome? Where death strips you of all of your powerups, leaving you in a weakened position, which, late in the game, might mean you’re totally screwed? Well this game takes that idea to another level.

You see, each death “de-levels” each of your weapons. You wouldn’t think that would be a big problem, because you have so very few lives in the first place that losing any of them should already put you deep up shit creek as it is. But therein lies the rub. For the fact is, you are almost never able to level up your weapons. There’s just a few to be found in each level, and they can easily be missed due to the ability to “horizontally scroll” the screen, which makes it very easy to bypass stuff without ever knowing. So if you die a couple times and lose your powered up laser, you may NEVER get it back. And you absolutely do not want to be weak in the second half of the game because things get FRANTIC.

So there you have it. A game where you get a few lives, no continues, tough action, and dying practically means game over. So, in order to beat this game you need to get through it with very few deaths. Realistically, somewhere around zero. And for someone of my meager skillset, that has yet to happen.

But don’t let that scare you away, because it’s still a great time. Everything about it is well done, and I continue to happily pour attempts into it. I may never beat it, but I’m having a blast trying.

Did I beat it?
Nope! This might be the hardest game in this batch.

This game has not aged well.

Have I covered that “controversy” yet? I don’t mean about Star Fox specifically, but in regards to the general idea of games “aging.” That the general amount of fun that can be extracted from a video game, as time passes, can decrease faster for some games than others.

Evidently that’s a hot take on some corners of the internet. Seems pretty straightforward to me. Game X bursts onto the scene, sets the gaming world on fire, and then is incrementally improved upon by five million clones and successors. Then you take a look at it 25 years later, and the dated mechanics have left you with something that is much less playable than some of its peers. It happens.

Star Fox is one of those games.

When this originally came out, I’m not gonna say it set the gaming world on fire (it didn’t). But it was heralded as a pretty sweet addition to the SNES library. Killer polygonal graphics that, up to that point, had mostly been seen only in the PC scene. Relentless action, with constantly swarming enemies, and massive bosses. And even multiple pathways through the game, giving it a relatively high amount of replay value.

Of course, that was before stuff like Star Fox 64 existed. And that was before we got used to having actual textures on our polygons. And that was before we expected 3D games to run faster than 3 frames per second.

“But guy, the game always played like that, the code didn’t change! It is impossible for a game to literally age!”

Yeah, no shit. No one said it did. But it did figuratively age. Probably because nobody had the clairvoyance to play this thing back in 1993 while images of the future Star Fox 64 were dancing through their heads.

And I realize that that’s not super fair to Star Fox. I’m only supposed to be ranking every Super Nintendo game. Star Fox 64’s infinitely more refined gameplay shouldn’t be a factor in this writeup.

But it kinda is. Because I can’t play Star Fox in 2021, and have as much fun with it as I did once upon a time. I just can’t. It may not be totally fair, but that’s what the emphasis with this project is: how much fun are these games now. And Star Fox is fun. But not as fun as it once was.

Did I beat it?
Yes, but not all of the paths.

Star Fox 2 was of course one of the many cancelled titles on the system, one which was resurrected by Nintendo a few years ago, and released out of the blue, included on the Super Nintendo Classic console. Seeing as how I was already well into this writing project, I was left with a bit of a conundrum. Since SF2 could technically be considered an official licensed addition to the Super Nintendo library, how was I supposed to retroactively handle it? Did I ignore it? Did I try to find a spot for it in the rankings and then go back and shift everything above it back one space in order to accommodate it?

Or I could do this: Tack it onto the Star Fox review as something of a bonus game. No shift, no headache. It seemed like the path of least resistance so I went for it.

So I did play through it on my SNES Classic (once), which I felt like was enough to give a quick and dirty writeup. And my final thoughts are: it’s alright. Nothing super special. It clearly brought a bunch of new ideas to the table, many of which were used in Star Fox 64 and Star Fox Command (and possibly Star Fox Assault). But I wouldn’t say they were particularly well implemented here. The free range missions barely feel like a step up from Vortex, which was a terribly mediocre game, and the additional vehicles are honestly just not very fun to play with. At all. And even the tactical map, the mainstay of Star Fox Command, is not something I find to be very compelling in practice. Tedious if anything. Not that it isn’t a good idea, I just don’t think it was fully explored, or designed well.

But the core gameplay is still solid. Blasting shit is fun and winning dogfights is fun. It was of course all improved upon immensely with SF64, but it is interesting to see some of the ideas that worked so well there “prototyped” here.

I guess if push came to shove, and I had been forced to do a genuine ranking for it, Star Fox 2 probably would have been in the low 200s somewhere. Quite a bit higher than the similar Vortex, but still a far cry from the system’s best. Good, not great. And a step back from its predecessor.

Did I beat it?
Just once.

...so continuing from where I left off with my previous write-ups of all of the other NHL games, THIS is the definitive entry. This is the year where EA was completely in the zone, and knocked it out of the park. Er, rink.

Controls? Sublime.
Mixture of simulation and arcade gameplay? On point.
Fun? Oh, it’s the most fun.

Seriously, put this game in front of any gamer, hockey fan or no, and they’ll have a blast. Regardless of age, regardless of genre preferences, regardless of what generation of consoles they grew up with. Everyone likes this game. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t.

And I don’t say that lightly, because I have been around this game in many different social situations (including the hockey game night I hosted, and another regular game night), and everyone always has fun. Without exception. I can’t say that about many (if any) other games. I remember when we rented it at my 1st grade after-school daycare. Yes, for real, I remember it vividly. And it’s all that anyone wanted to play. In a part of the state where no one knows how to skate, much less actually plays the sport. They couldn’t get enough of this game.

In fact, I don’t even know why I’m trying to sell it, because you already know. You’ve already played it. Everyone has. So quit reading this, call up your buddies, and have an NHL ‘94 game night.

Did I beat it?
I haven't.

Suck it Griffey, THIS is the most fun baseball game on the system! I mean, according to me at least. Most people probably disagree. Hell, for all I know, this isn’t even considered a very good port of Super Baseball 2020. Is this a far inferior version of the original Neo Geo MVS game? I dunno, probably it is. But we don’t care about that! We only care about how it stacks up in regards to the rest of the SNES ranks. And it ranks pretty damn good.

First you select a team, each with different strengths and weaknesses. I always opt for the teams that can slug. Something about the best defense being a good offense. Going with the whole future motif, you’ll immediately notice that the players are either cyborgs, or robots. Pretty damn cool.

The next thing you’ll notice is the unusual playing field. How unusual? Well, large chunks of the field that are traditionally foul territory are considered to be fair, and most of the bleachers out in the outfield are actually covered in large sheets of glass that will bounce the ball back into play. Confused yet?

It gets better. One very important mechanic at play is earning and spending cash. With each “positive” play you make in the game, you earn cash. And I mean every positive play. Throwing a strike and hitting a single give small payouts, whereas something like a home run or strikeout pays out significantly more. This leads to a really interesting metagame where you and your opponent are constantly jockeying to earn the most cash.

Now, herein lies the secret to this game being so great. With that cash, you can upgrade the players on your team. You can give your pitchers unstoppable cannon arms, you can give your batters extreme slugging power, or you can even convert them into robot super players. This drains your cash, but gives a significant boost to your offensive or defensive capabilities.

So while the games start slow, things gradually escalate as the upgrade arms war slowly plays out. Generally, the team that jumps out ahead with upgrades will end up crushing their opponent.

And that formula works. It never gets boring, and it leads to a lot of different ways to play. Do you try and load up the bases with small ball so that you can upgrade your cleanup hitter and bring them all home with a dinger? Or do you upgrade your pitchers and try to squash your opponent’s ability to earn money? All approaches are equally satisfying.

It’s not all perfect, of course. The fielding controls do feel a tad unresponsive, which can lead to some frustrating plays (or, I should say, a lack of plays). And I wish it was a bit easier to pitch on upgraded players. They tend to crush the ball regardless of what you throw their way.

Either way, it’s a load of fun. One of my absolute favorite sports games on the system, and one of my absolute favorite baseball games of all time. Someday I’ll seek out the arcade original and see how this version stacks up.

Did I beat it?
Almost!

For the record, I have never played Choplifter or Choplifter II. In fact, I don't know anything about either one of them. I think the first game was ported to the Sega Master System. I feel like that’s a thing I’ve come across at some point in my life. But Choplifter II? Stranded in the arcades or left in Japan for all I know.

But it doesn’t matter, because diving blind into the third entry in the series is more than worth your time. This game is great. It’s part shmup, part adventure, and part… uh, rescue... sim. What I mean by all of that is, while the game takes place from a side perspective, and your chopper fires bullets and bombs like you would expect to see in something like UN Squadron, there is no forced scrolling. Instead you are free to move about the (largeish) levels at your own pace. Like a 2D Desert Strike.

Each level begins with your chopper at your home base. The mission is always the same: go out and discover x amount of friendly POWs, liberate them, and bring them home alive. It’s often easier said than done.

While the first stage is rather conventional in design, with a spread out jungle you need to explore, later levels have you moving deep underground and navigating through enemy-filled tunnels and bunkers in order to find your captured allies. Other levels feature crowded urban environments or even large capital ships out at sea. If nothing else, C3 has a great variety of stages to explore.

The boss fights are also a treat. All of them bring a different challenge to the table, and none of them ever resort to cheap tactics, or frustrating bullshit. Yes, they are a bit easy once you get the patterns down, but the same can be said for most shmups.

Going hand-in-hand with that, if there is any real complaint I have about the game, it’s that it’s a bit too easy overall. Since you have unlimited continues to work with, and the layouts never change, you can pretty easily brute force your way through the game once you have everything memorized. And with just a bit of practice, a 1CC is more than doable. Is that a bad thing? No. But the game would have been better off if the challenge was taken up a notch.

All in all, it’s a game I have greatly enjoyed every time I have played through it. The fact that I put it above my own beloved Urban Strike should say a lot, and hopefully not just about me and my taste in games. Any fan of the Strike series should check it out, and any fan of shmups that’s looking for something different should also check it out. You won’t be disappointed.

Did I beat it?
A couple different times.

I have a major admission to make. And I hope this doesn’t come off as pompous or make me sound like a douchebag. But for all of my gaming experience and acumen (thousands of games worth), I have, as of this writing, never played the arcade classic Strider. Ever. Sacrilege, I know.

I don’t really have an explanation for it either, other than It’s just one of those things that never managed to fall into my lap. Probably because it never got a great port for the SNES or Sega Genesis. I mean, yeah, I do actually own the port for NES. But I’ve never played it, and I never hear it talked about, so I can only assume it doesn’t do the real game much justice.

Nevertheless, I know for a fact that Run Saber is considered to be something of a Strider derivative. Why is that? Because the controls are so similar? Because the animations are so similar? Is gameplay super similar?

I have no idea. Can’t comment on it.

What I do know is that Run Saber is a great action platformer. One of the system’s unheralded games that most people have never heard of, but is easily worth most people’s time.

The gameplay is very basic and very easy to describe: slash the hell out of everything you come across with the help of your titular “saber.” While also jumping, climbing and hanging your way through some crazy twisting vertical levels.

Part of what makes this game work so well is that it checks all of the important action platformer boxes:

The controls are rock solid, with perfect responsiveness and a scheme that is straightforward and intuitive. I have absolutely zero complaints here.

The graphics and animation are also great, with everything looking super sharp, and some truly impressive-looking bosses. Maybe some of the best on the system.

The game is also loaded with “action.” What do I mean by that? I don’t know, just that you’re always encountering new stuff, and it never slows down. As opposed to something like X-Kalibur, where levels tend to drag as you fight the same enemies again and again. This game doesn’t have that problem. At all.

Shortcomings? Well, it is super short. Maybe 30-45 minutes once you know what you’re doing. And the challenge is rather low. And I wish it had a few more levels that were as crazy as the early ride on top of a fighter jet. But nothing crippling, or especially egregious.

So overall, I absolutely recommend this game for action platformer junkies. I can’t say if it’s any better or worse than Strider, and I should probably get to playing that sooner rather than later, but I know it’s a good game, and worth every SNES fan’s time.

Did I beat it?
Yes, this is one I like to go back to a lot.

Want to know what Biker Mice From Mars is all about? Easy, take everything I just said about Rock n Roll Racing, and apply it here. Except, take out the rock and roll. By that I mean licensed rock n roll. And replace all of the alien grotesques with… well, different alien grotesques. But otherwise these games may as well be spiritual brothers.

Is that a good thing? I think it is. The Rock n Roll Racing and RPM Racing formula - itself derived from (I assume) RC Pro AM on NES - works well enough. It’s fun to learn the short twisty arcade tracks, and it’s fun to blast the shit out of the competition. More of a good thing is a good thing, right?

In fact, I actually prefer this over Blizzard’s seminal game. I mean, obviously it’s ranked higher, isn’t it? But it was a close race. A very close one. This game doesn’t have Highway Star after all.

What it does have is a shorter, more challenging and cohesive playthrough. For better or worse, both of the Blizzard racers were far too long for their own good. Does anybody reading this want to commit to hundreds upon hundreds of races? Because I don’t. BMFM condenses that down to a far more manageable length.

In true Konami fashion, this is also a much more challenging game. Or at least it is on the higher difficulties, which is the only way to see the full game and have the credits roll (again, in true Konami fashion). Very few people will see those credits.

It’s also got a number of little, incremental improvements. Better graphics? Got ‘em. A better variety of racers to choose from? Got ‘em. A better soundtrack? Well, no. But what we have here isn’t too shabby. If you’re into butt rock (which I am).

And yeah, what else do I need to say? The controls are perfect, the cooperative play is fun, the goofy license is a perfect fit. It’s a good game. One that all racing fans should check out.

Did I beat it?
Yes, and this game is no joke.

Hey, remember a million years ago when I wrote up Batman Forever? That stupid Mortal Kombat-y beat-em-up based on the Val Kilmer and Joel Schumacher vehicle? It was pretty wretched, and one of the few entries in the genre that I was forced to give up on. Maybe even the only one.

Well, this is the other Batman beat-em-up. The difference being that this one was made by Konami, not Acclaim. Which kinda says it all. And it doesn’t have those ridiculous character sprites that were rendered from photographs of real nerds people, and it doesn’t have the glaring problems with hit detection, or the horrendous control scheme, or the horrible levels, or the wildly uneven difficulty curve, or any of the other problems. It’s just a perfectly serviceable Final Fight rip-off. That’s good enough for me.

Actually, another game I have to mention is The Death and Return of Superman. Remember that one? Courtesy of Blizzard, it was a serviceable attempt, it just didn’t end up being as fun as I’d hoped it would be. I mention it, because if you have played that game, then you need to know that it is basically a sequel to Batman Returns. An unofficial one. I have no idea if any of the same people were involved in its development (probably not). But the two games are so similar that it almost seems like borderline theft.

Anyway, enough about other games. What makes this game tick? Well here’s a short list:

• Great graphics and animation.
• Silky smooth controls.
• A mostly good difficulty curve. There’s a few boss fights that could have used some extra tuning, but I think it’s a good job overall.
• An above-average vehicle level.
• Some okayish action platformer stages.
• A perfect length.

It all adds up to being one of the best movie adaptations on the system. Or is it the best…? Shit, I’d have to go scan the list to figure out if that’s the case…

In any case, it's either the best, or one of the best. And one of the best beat-em-ups on the system. And one of the best Batman games in gaming history. Check it out.

Did I beat it?
Many times.

Here we have yet another “cinematic platformer” for the Super Nintendo. I put quite a few of them in the 200-100 ranks, didn’t I? I suppose that would imply that I really like most of them. Even if I don’t love them enough to crack the top 100. That seems about right.

Blackthorne, from our legendary friends over at Blizzard, is a bloody good time. That’s a thing people used to say, right? But it’s absolutely true here. You take the titular hero, Kyle Blackthorne, and warp to some sort of alien planet, where you must free enslaved humans from the clutches of a demonic overlord. All with the help of your trusty shotgun. Seriously, most of this game is spent popping in and out of cover, trying to blow away enemy grunts. It’s awesome.

Unfortunately, there is basically zero story. You arrive on the planet, some sort of mystical wizard (what the fuck?) occasionally pops in to cheerlead your efforts, and the Demon Lord Sarlac sits on his throne and curses you. That’s it. Flashback it ain’t.

But that’s okay, because the core gameplay is so great. I’m not exaggerating when I say Blackthorne has by far the most responsive controls for any game of this genre on the system. It’s not even close. And that’s a godsend, because the biggest drawback for both Flashback and Out of this World will be the tiny bit of input lag that they seem to suffer from. Blackthorne has no such issue.

There’s a decent-sized quest here as well. Sixteen levels, most of which will take several hours (and repeated continues) to overcome. Especially towards the end, where the difficulty really starts to ramp up. There are passwords between levels, but no in-level checkpoints. Which means you can expect to replay many sections over and over and over again.

The gameplay loop is also very basic. Shoot enemies, use any bombs you find on enemies that are scuttling along the floors, below the range of your gun, find keys, find passcards, find mechanical “lifts”, and make your way to the exit. That’s it. That’s the loop in every level. By the end I did wish there was some more variety to it, but it does work, so I couldn’t complain too much.

The graphics and animation are also super sharp. I’m not sure who drew the cover art, probably someone from Image Comics, but it looks great. There are no in-game cinematics drawn in that style though, which seems like a missed opportunity.

Overall, I did have a really good time with Blackthorne. If it had had a little more meat to its storyline, or some more varied puzzles and enemies, I probably would have promoted it to the top 100. But this is still a lofty position for a very good game.

Did I beat it?
I did, with a playthrough that lasted several years.

Here we are, the last of the basketball games that I will be covering for the Super Nintendo. Which means some of my newer readers are now gonna realize that I’ve already covered the NBA Jam games. I’m sure that’s going to go down well.

What can I say, the Live series is better. Way better. It was then, and it is now. I’ve always owned both and I’ve always felt that way. Sue me.

I can remember what the basketball gaming scene was like before this series sprung up. My friends and I were huge fans of the sport, and lived off of a steady diet of Tecmo Super Basketball, NCAA Basketball, and NBA Showdown rentals. One of my poor buddies was even stuck with a lone copy of Bulls vs Blazers to keep his Super Mario World cart company. Everyone did. It was the era of Michael Jordan, and the NBA was king, with the United States gripped by basketball fever. And to be fair, I think we knew that those were all pretty poor games. We knew they weren’t that fun. But we soldiered on because you made the best of what was available to you. Of course, there’s a reason that when NBA Jam came along, it was immediately a mega hit: the basketball video game scene was starved for a winner.

Enter NBA Live ‘95. I don’t specifically remember how I initially found out about the existence of this game (probably from a magazine in the supermarket), or how I knew it would be any good (probably something in that same magazine), but it was on the short list I gave my father for my birthday back in 1994. Keep in mind that at the time my collection consisted of Super Mario World, Super Mario All-Stars, Battletoads Double Dragon, and Madden NFL ‘94. So whatever wishlist I came up with would have been jam packed full of classic SNES games from the era. But something convinced me that this NBA Live game was gonna be special. So it made the cut. It was the only time I asked for a sports game my entire life.

When the special day rolled around, I was spoiled with not one but TWO games. I was shocked, since my father did not have much in the way of money, and expecting to receive a single game was almost too much to hope for (I never did get two games like that from him again).

One of the games I got was Donkey Kong Country. No shocker there, because it was a gargantuan game that was promoted out the wazoo, and I’m sure the clerk sold my dad on it. Hell, I had even received that promotional VHS tape for the game from Nintendo, and it’s possible my dad watched it with me. Either way, the game was a massive hit and a month later every single kid that was at my party received DKC for Christmas. The hype was real.

The other game I received was indeed NBA Live ‘95. And I am not exaggerating when I say it was immediately my favorite of the two. Which is mind-blowing to me when I think about it nowadays. One of the most earth-shattering platformers of all time, DKC, was the game that almost single-handedly let Nintendo regain the edge over Sega (gross generalization, I know). Everyone was all over that game’s nuts when it came out. Even today, in my SNES subreddit, practically half of the damn posts that pop up every day are about people playing the DKC games, collecting the DKC games, or asking about the DKC games. They are Super Nintendo royalty.

But it didn’t matter. I just wanted to play basketball. NBA Live ‘95 was such a quantum leap forward from all of those other b-ball games, that it practically defied explanation. How could we have possibly wasted so much time with crap like NBA Showdown? How could I have memorized nearly an entire damn code wheel in order to play my PC copy of Jordan vs Bird?

By the end of the Super Nintendo’s run, it had cemented its place in my heart as my favorite sports game on the system, and it was decades before anything else was really able to give it any serious competition.

Decades later, I’ve let a few select other games slip past it, but it’s still held relatively steady. Many other gamers swear by NHL ‘94, but this is my pick for the best old school EA sports game(s). And yeah, the three follow-ups didn’t really add anything to the table, but they left the marvelous gameplay intact. So they’re allowed to tag along with their big brother.

And for the record, it is still my favorite basketball game in the history of the medium.

Did I beat 95?
Many, many times.
Did I beat 96?
Once.
Did I beat 97?
Once.
Did I beat 98?
Once.

More Konami! Pretty soon it’s gonna look like I have a major hard-on for the company and their output on the Super Nintendo. Probably because I do. This was them in their prime, cranking out hit after hit after hit. A third party powerhouse that has many claims for being the best there was. Maybe even the best there ever was. All before they became… well, we all know what happened to them in the 2010s…

The Adventures of Batman & Robin is an interesting title. Kind of a mix between action platformer and beat-em-up, but veering into many different genres along the way. In fact, one of the biggest strengths of this game is that every single level has its own identity. So much so that I feel the need to go over each of them individually:

Amused to Death - The introductory carnival stage that pits you against The Joker and Harley Quinn (and one gigantic toy soldier miniboss). Most of the stage is conventional action platformer stuff, but the fight against the Joker takes place on two roller coaster cars, and involves multiple phases.

No Green Peace - Another action platformer stage with a heavier vertical (climbing trees) element. The final boss is Poison Ivy and a large carnivorous plant.

Fowl Play - A bank heist perpetuated by the Penguin. This is a more open-ended level, and involves searching through various rooms and hallways, and lots of backtracking.

Tale of the Cat - Batman chases Cat Woman across a run-down section of Gotham, ending in a boss fight that is about a thousand times less annoying than similar fights in Batman Returns.

Trouble in Transit - An overhead vehicle level that is reminiscent of a vertical shmup. Your goal here is to chase down and destroy Two Face. While short and relatively painless, I would say this is probably amongst the worst levels.

Perchance to Scream - Another straightforward action platformer level, this stage ends with Batman boarding the Scarecrow’s blimp, and fighting his way onboard before one of the games trickiest boss fights aboard the wings of a plane.

Riddle Me This - Part 3D maze, part riddle, and part cheap trap, this is probably the hardest stage in the game, with many insta-death sections that can only be figured out via trial and error. Lots of cool ideas though.

The Gauntlet - A boss rush of new and returning bosses from previous stages. The new fights range from tedious (Clayface) to frustrating (Man-Bat) to fun (Joker).

As usual, there’s some drawbacks to having so many varying playstyles in the game. An uneven difficulty curve among them. Namely, this is the sort of game where you’re going to be repeating every single one of the levels quite a bit before you can master them. Cheap hits/deaths, boss fights that rely on specific patterns, and a very unforgiving life/continue system mean you’re gonna have to work for a completion.

On the other hand, the game does offer passwords, which means you can practice each and every level to your heart’s content. That’s a big deal, because this would be a very tough game for many of the wrong reasons without it.

I also just realized that this is the third and final Batman game for the Super Nintendo (fourth if you count Justice League). While some people might balk at my having this higher than Batman Returns (or at the fact that I didn’t put either one of them in my top 100), I still feel this is a very lofty position that does the game justice. It’s not one of Konami’s absolute very best releases on the SNES, but it’s still a very good game that should be checked out by any fans of the genre or the property.

Did I beat it?
Yes, after many late nights.

Piggybacking off of what I already said back in my write-up of its sequel, Top Gear is a fantastic game, and a Super Nintendo classic. Not only was it the very first racing game I ever played through, and the very first racing game I ever rented, but it was the first one I sought out when I truly set my SNES collecting into overdrive. Hell, it’s the game that launched a franchise that saw over a dozen releases. Any way you put it, it’s a stone cold classic, and one of the best racing games on the SNES.

Now, I could go on about the tight controls, or the immaculate balancing to the difficulty, or even the wonderful sense of speed. There’s a lot of great things I could talk about. But instead I just want to cut this short and have you listen to this instead. One of the best soundtracks on the console:



If you grew up with this game, tell me that OST doesn’t hit you right in the feels (as the kids like to say).

Did I beat it?
Once back in the '90s, and once 20 years later.

Once upon a time, when I was just diving into the wider Super Nintendo library, my first attempt at getting through Flashback didn’t go so smoothly. I don’t know if I was feeling impatient because I wanted to get to another game, or if I had other distractions in my life at the time, but after a few hours of floundering in the first area of the game, I gave up, shelved the cart, and gave it a placeholder rank up near the 200 mark. I could see it was clearly a good game and I knew it was gonna be very similar to many other “cinematic platformers” I had enjoyed in the past. And I knew I’d have a good time with it if I just dedicated myself to it. But for whatever reason I just didn’t want to make the time for it at the moment.

Years later, I came back renewed, refreshed, and - honestly - not afraid to use a guide to help keep me pointed in the right direction. It’s not uncommon that I lean on outside help from time to time. After all, getting through (the majority of) 714 games is one hell of a time sink, and we’re talking a cumulative difference of years I can shave off the effort with those things. So I dove back in with FAQ in hand.

That second time around, I had a ball.

If you’ve ever played something like Out of this World or Prince of Persia, you know what to expect here. Help guide your deliberately unresponsive gangly dude across a series of levels consisting of increasingly difficult jumps, tense gunfights, and lots and lots of backtracking. Seriously, there’s one level where… well, let’s just say it’s an obscene amount of back and forth.

What this game has that those other games don’t is a rather engaging storyline. Probably one of the most engaging on the system. Very cyberpunk (think Shadowrun or Neuromancer) and very cool. I won’t get into the details, but it involves some pretty big concepts. At least, as far as Super Nintendo platformers go.

Now, as much as I just praised the game (and I praised it a lot), I do have to admit that I still prefer several aspects of other similar games on the system. Out of this World for example, has such perfect atmosphere and setpieces, that I don’t think Flashback quite reaches the same heights (both games were made by the same teams). I also think Blackthorne has much more satisfying gunplay. Like… a hundred times more satisfying. Flashback’s combat is pretty crappy in comparison. And Nosferatu has you jump kicking werewolves in the face. That’s just an automatic win. But Flashback is killer too, and is greater than the sum of its parts. That’s why I have it higher than both Nosferatu and Blackthorne, barely. Out of this World still nudges it out a bit.

So if you’re into this type of game, or you’re into stuff like Snow Crash or The Matrix, or you want to complete the cyberpunk SNES trilogy alongside Shadowrun and Syndicate, pick this bad boy up. You may want to consult a guide as you do, but it’s worth it.

Did I beat it?
I did, in another playthrough that spanned years.

Final Fight is another game I have a long history with. It was one of the first Super Nintendo games I ever played, dating back to the system’s earliest days. And it is also one of the titles I have played the most in pursuit of a completion. A completion I pursued for nearly 30 damn years.

When I first laid eyes on the game, I’m sure two things immediately came to mind: Double Dragon for NES, and The Simpsons arcade game, those being the only two brawlers I had any sort of experience with at the time. Except, instead of having some tiny little 8-bit sprites, or the goofiness of Homer punching a giant bowling ball, it featured a gigantic muscular man pile-driving people into the asphalt. I was immediately enthralled.

Of course I didn’t really get to play it much back then. My buddies had already moved on to the likes of Street Fighter II, and didn’t have time for boring ol’ Final Fight anymore. In a post-SF2 world, traditional brawlers were cast aside. So I squeezed in an attempt or two between their street fighting sessions, and moved on myself.

Years later, it occurred to me to ask my friend Joey if I could borrow his copy of the game. Which I did. And I had a great time with it. The action was intense, the challenge was huge, and the whole experience was a welcome break from my collection of mostly platformer and RPG carts.

I never did make it past “Katana” though. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t figure out his patterns. He’s the samurai boss of level two.

Many years later, I finally added the cart to my collection, and swore to avenge my previous defeat. It’s something I’m generally pretty good at doing.

I got my ass kicked by Katana again.

But I pressed on. I honed my beat ‘em up skills on the rest of the Super Nintendo library, and got better. One by one the different titles started to fall. I even started throwing NES games into the mix. Battletoads fell, then Double Dragon, then Double Dragon II. Final Fight was as good as mine.

So I came back for round three. And finally got past Katana. And got further into the game. And then Abigail kicked my ass. Over and over again.

So finally, in 2021, I came back for round four. This time Final Fight was GONNA PAY.

...with the help of the dogs on level five. Basically, they’re almost like an in-game cheat, giving extra lives, extra continues, extra health, etc. I mean, they’re IN the game, so it’s fair game, right? Or is that just the rationalization I’m using to cope with what I did? Probably.

Regardless, I finally “beat” the damn thing. I threw Mr. WhatsHisName out of that skyscraper window, rescued the damsel in distress, and marked the game “clear” in my backlog.

...even if I do feel pretty bad about it.

Also, there’s this game called Final Fight Guy. It’s basically the exact same thing. I don’t know why they even bothered.

Did I beat Final Fight?
Yes, with the help of a few canines.
Did I beat Final Fight Guy?
Yes, with the help of a few canines.

Lots of sports games in this batch, right? At least a dozen. Which is pretty impressive considering it’s probably one of my least favorite genre(s) of video game. I guess when you have as many of them as the Super Nintendo does, at least a few of them have to accidentally be good. Really good in this franchise’s case.

Do I really need to explain Tecmo Super Bowl to anybody? Everyone knows what these games are all about. Sure, most of you are probably more familiar with the NES version, but they’re both practically the same game. The teams and players may be slightly different (Bo Jackson is no longer the terror he once was), but the differences are almost indiscernible otherwise.

So instead of rehashing what we already know, I’m gonna once again travel to the past.

My childhood friends loved this game. I, on the other hand, was more of a Madden guy. They loved the arcade action, and I craved something that resembled the real thing.

I was wrong. 25+ years later, I have long grown sick of “realist” football games. They’re just not a natural fit for the video game medium. You can scheme all you want, you can tailor your roster all you want, you can perfect your audibles and your formations, and you can set up all of your own custom plays. Regardless of what you do, football games have never resembled the real thing. Ever. Not the blocking, not the route running, not the passing, not the running. None of it. Presumably because it’s just too complicated to have 22 guys, all on the field, acting in ways, with fine detail, that mimic the real deal. It’s impossible. I don’t know if that is a hot take or not, but I’ve played enough video games in my life, and watched and played enough football, to feel like I know what I’m talking about.

Tecmo Super Bowl doesn’t give one shit about being realistic. It doesn’t care about playbooks, or formations. It doesn’t care about route running. It only cares about arcade fun. And it still delivers, all these years later.

So, I was wrong. The Tecmo Super Bowl games are the best football games on the Super Nintendo. And it isn’t even particularly close in my mind, either.

Did I beat Tecmo Super Bowl?
No! I'm somewhere in the neighborhood of 0-45 against the Bills in the Super Bowl. How ironic.
Did I beat Tecmo Super Bowl II?
I have not.
Did I beat Tecmo Super Bowl III?
I have not.